Thought I’d enlighten you on what products some of the biggest American corporations own. These companies take “They own everything” to another level.
One of your favorite soft drinks ain’t just a soft drink, pal. A lot of people have never in their entire life looked past Pepsi as anything other than a carbonated beverage when in fact it’s so much more. Consider the fact that PepsiCo owns these drinks: 7up, Mountain Dew, Tropicana, Lipton Ice Tea, , Naked, SoBe, and even Gatorade. Now, also consider the fact that PepsiCo owns Frito-Lay, Quaker Oats, Cheetos and Doritos and you’re looking at domination. Coca-Cola is the unstoppable force in the beverage industry but PepsiCo is a global juggernaut in the beverage and food processing sector. No wonder their commercials always kick ass at the Super Bowl. I wonder if PepsiCo sends free copies of their Super Bowl commercials as a “Fuck You” to Coca Cola every year.
There’s a funny quote in Hollywood that goes “Disney owns everything” partly because it’s true. Disney is basically Hollywood’s pimp, storming down the red carpet and buying everything it can get its hands on. It’s great! It’s monopolizing at its best, really. But that’s okay because Disney’s got a knack for entertainment. We all know Mickey Mouse and the gang. But Disney also owns ABC, ESPN, Miramax Films, Hollywood Pictures, Touchstone Pictures, Jim Henson’s Muppets and all those fun amusement parks. Oh, and don’t forget about all that merchandise all over the planet. No wonder it’s the happiest god damn place on earth.
JOHNSON & JOHNSON
You may think you own the place you’re living in if you pay rent and whatnot but Johnson & Johnson owns your medicine cabinet and other parts of your bathroom. The first thing you should know about Johnson & Johnson is that it is renown as an incredibly well-run company that ranks annually among the top 10 of the Forbes 100 Best Companies list. But with its resume of enough products to make your head spin, it probably is one of the best. Band-Aid, Benadryl, Bengay, Cortaid, Desitin, Immodium, K-Y (stop laughing, douche bag), Listerine, Motrin, Neutrogena, Nicorette, Nicoderm, Pepcid, Rembrandt, Rogaine, Rolaids, Sudafed, Tylenol, and Visine (Yes, stoners, VISINE!). Those are only the ones I know you’d have heard of. There’s many, many more. Johnson & Johnson is big pimpin’ the medicine cabinets. Hardcore.